Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Just the fingers typing

I am okay but I am not okay. I get through the day. Wake up at a normal time , have some coffee, read the paper, watch some morning news, take a shower, head to work. At work, I interact with everyone, focus on the task at hand and do what I do in radio.

The nights are different though. I struggle when the sun goes down. My body aches from the last three months. You try and wash it off, wash it away, but it just won't go away. I've noticed that even when I'm "relaxing" now, I'm not really relaxing. The leftovers of Katrina are on my mind and I can't get rid of them.

I have gotten use to the area not having any real services. I can deal with mail once a week or little trash pick up or power going out occasionally. In this world, those things are irrelevant. I can accept the military humvees patrolling all parts of the city. The lack of street lights and working traffic signals is not a problem. I stop everywhere now. Any corner where I see red works. Waiting in line anywhere at anytime? I'll gladly stand wherever I need to stand to get served, sometime, anytime.

My problem is I miss the city as I knew it. I cringe everytime I get on I-10. I cringe everytime I get off I-10. The complete devastation surrounds us living in some parts of town. St Bernard pains my heart everytime I go there. The 9th ward, some of the most diversified citizens and areas of the city still look like they did a month and a half ago. I want the old New Orleans back and since that cannot happen I want the NEW New Orleans (I hate the sound of that) to start moving forward, and it's happening yes, but when your confronted day after day with the houses and the mounds of destruction it does not happen anywhere near fast enough. It just doesn't and either you (or I) accept it or move. And I'm sure as hell not moving so I better get over it.

Did you notice Wheel of Fortune is airing the "New Orleans Shows" that were filmed the weekend before Katrina? Vanna riding the streetcar down a shiny St Charles (not really shiny but much more so than the current state of parts of the St Charles line). People winning lots of money though- and yeah I like Wheel of Fortune.

I turn 38 tomorrow. 15 years ago I didn't think I'd reach this one. Here's hoping for another 15, minus any K storms.

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